/-\ hmmm /-\

In the world , there are many people don understand about their relation..
sometime they could misunderstanding and start argue...
One of it is me myself...
I know that I have some  bad attitude..
Sometime could even misunderstanding..
but actually I just caring..
Everything is new stages for me to change..
but is needed some times to do so..
I slowly and getting know about it..
giving way is something we can maintain the relation..
understand and try to give way..
many people would say that ,
my gf is new and dono anything ,
but I willing to teach her about everything..
We have the same attitude ,
but sometime we tolerate each other..
I know that I did wrong something could make her very angry..
but after that , I would apologize that I am wrong..
but why cant She just forgive..
sometimes she make me gone mad ,
but just easily I forgive ,
not becoz I not angry ,
is just because I don wan have conflict ,
and we can be more happily..
argument is something got for future ,
but there are many bad effect below on it..
I did drop her image in her fren once..
but that time I also wish I won do that..
just the one time ,
she judge my future..
I don even dare to talk in future or past anymore
because there are many sad and sorrow stuff..
I just wanted to happily and nicely pass my life..
cant just everything pass smoothly??
freedom is starting to giving..
slowly slowly give...becoz I know I try my best..
hope it understand my feeling and what i am doing actually..
I don wan argue and fight anymore..
make everyone life so miserable...

Relax myself...

Hmm...
i think i should stop writing the story down..
becoz I would influence someone..
Just talk over only...
yesterday I din upload becoz of busy..hehe
have tea wit colleague , den go night club see girl sing song 
den chit chat...
I knew a girl there can 'le le'...
She is from china..
I was shy tat time when she wanted to talk to me..
but lastly we turn up be fren..
I talk alot about my love story to her
and she told me a lot about her family and hometown..
She seen sad when she talk about her stuff..
Sorry I din mean to ask all those..
I ask her why she wan to do such job ,
she told me that ,
when someone needs money , no matter wat job ,
someone have to do as well...
Hmmm they are quite pity as well..
but nothing I can do , just have a cheer of beer ,
and wish her good luck...
When the time I reach home..
Is already 4 am...
OMG~~~ 
What happen to me.. am I mad of it..hehe
hang till so late..
so bad that I let my mom wait me..
When I enter the house , she when out and ask me..
Why so late !! sorry mom..
I though u all slept, sorry...hehe
__________________________________________
So funny thing happen...
Once of my colleague know me is single ,
and one of my ex know me is single..
What they told me is something make me suprise..hehe
They say how come ,
Ur gf look so guai lui and Ting hua de...
WOn do this de lo.. Is it u fly people..hehe
I just laugh back and say nothing la...
Everything will be fine..
but everything is end already..hehe
She is good , guai ad ting hua de a..
everyone is right , just I am not the one only ma..hehe
I have curiousity and naughty de..hehe
But ,
all this is past lo..
Don really put in heart la..
She will have better and be more better..
She is much more better den wat I think of her..
hehe..
All the best to her again lo..
Feel better saying out something ,
but feel more better is she know wat I am saying..hehe
_________________________________________
Today , is a busy day...
and all the time are busy..
happy , emo and funky..hehe
have tea wit my bro ...
Dono why suddenly feel need love and need someone to care..
need someone to scold and say me...
but , don have lo..
so scold myself..hehe
sei chun~~~~ hahahahaha
Aright , 
tomorrow will be my holiday..
I will going to Langkawi now...
Wait for me ya..
Have to fetch my fren ,
go to office send up everything , 
reach home get my stuff ready..
and go for it..yeah~~~~~
I love holiday I love sea 
I love girl I love joy
and most important
I Love SUN~~~~
I will be the sunny boy there..hehe
All night craping only at here...haha
Good nitez and sweet dream..

putting her down day 4

Today already the forth day..
N is mothers day...
I am going to treat my mom and family eat..
OMG~~~
They eat up me Rm180 ..
but is okay la...
Just once awhile only... so let it be ba..
Everyone is so happy and talk a lot..
So long we din communicate already..
today is my 'family day'...
muahahahahaha..
My mom suddenly ask me a very tough question..
She ask me , 
Am I serious with that girl???
I was like , OMG~~~
Mom , how come u will ask this kind of question..
Den ask me show her...
but I think my mom start to like her..
previously my mom don even ask and keep disagree 
me to dating..
cant imagine she will say such thing to me today..
I was very happy my mom have accept her..
But..
1 thing very important I din say to them..
We are separated since the last time she visit my house..
I don wan to tell them becoz I don wan them to worried me..
My mom love me a lot
and care me a lot..
I don wan her becoz of my matter ,
it effect her and need her to take care me..
I just have to keep in my heart ...
I just keep quite only..hehe
Just now at outside..
chat wit my neighbor which is my college mate as well..
We talk about rent house ,
go out know fren and about our love story..
Although I don have ,
but I can share some of my previous one..
He even told me a lot of his gf stuff..
I am bit jealous jor...hehe
Her gf is good to her..
pretty as well and nice..
he is a lucky boy man...hehe
Even wit that , 
Previously my love one even good to me,
pretty and beauty to me..
I even feel statify of having her..
but many thing is not up to my choice..
just stand behind and see everything lo...
Heard a song today..
is nice..
sang  by 

梁文音

'哭過就好了'

Is really nice~~~
one part in the MV told me is totally touching..
it recall me deeply in toward her..
she alway don say no , not because she don wan  ,
Is because she love me.
she don angry not because she don have angriness,
is because she love me .
she don cry in front of me not because she don have tears,
is because she she love me and don wan me to worried..
Once I saw and recall it...
I remember the time she cry in front of me ,
and all that she do it to me..
My heart was deeply sour right now..
and I should sleep ...
good nitez...

putting her down day 3

Today ,
wake up in the morning and go to work..
Though should be a exciting place for me to travel,
but actually not..
Have dim sum at connaught den go straight to klang..
hehe~~~
When the time reach there is totally lame and boring...
No customer at all..hurm~~~
just have gathering and talks about ghost story..
den go shopping when the event ends...
I bought CROCS shoe and some small stuff..
Is wearing to langkawi soon..hehe
____________________________________________
Hmmm , today still remaining the same feeling again..
At the event that time ,
have a small chat wit shito..
Hurmm~~~ is some interesting story
and bout his love story..
Is totally nice and sweet..
Jealousy man...
Just now have tea wit brothers..
Tension and stress again...
after tea , I at parking talk a lot wit jack..
He really lend me his ear,
even an wei me as well..
Thanks..
I even causes her have a bit conflict wit his gf,
becoz his gf call him and wan to talk to him becoz she is down.
opps~~~ me cause him in trouble..
hurm , tells him everything which happen upon me..
dono why the feeling cannot being throw away..
The more I wan to throw , the more is stay harder..
Is deeply and full force on focusing her ,
so the feel is there...
every time I hold the phone ,
I was like wanted to call or wait to receive a call..
but is never rang..
Dono why , 
I still will jealous on certain matter..
cant just look it over..
she seen like wrote a lot of thing towards me...
That show may be I have did something wrong again...
May be I am a hard and she is hard too..
when we bang together..
is hurting each of us..
May be I am not as good as others,
but I wish one day she could understand..
dono why , suddenly feel that I would like to wishing her..
Even support on her work and everything..
Actually what I wanted to put down is actually nothing..
seeing her so happy can go out gathering wit fren ,
seeing her business is good ,
seeing her shop wit fren and plan to hanging out,
I was like totally happy on her as long she happy..
Dono why , I don feel like rejecting or unhappy anymore..
and dono why I feel she will know what she is doing..
Dono why I feel that she will take care herself from that moment..
Now , i alway feel afraid I will do or say wrong things..
So I will thinking deeply first before it..
Some times saw she like facing some problem,
I would send her a message and tell her,
there are someone behind her which care and support..
even though is nothing to her , but it mean a lot to me..
may be she really decide to leave me alone,
but I still there look after her..
Is she as hard as a stone just leave me aside..
don even send or call me..
Is really a hard feeling ,
but I know , I have to accept 
and respect on her..
Although every time feel like putting down ,
but is really really something which challenge me..
I am afraid , this will stay wit me more and more...
Good Nitez and sweet dream...

Putting her down day 2

today wake up at 9 10 am,
i am totally tired because last night sleep at 3 something..
hmmm is a tired day..
I went to klang to set up counter..
den I do my own stuff..
____________________________________________
today still remain the same feeling..
Toward myself..
still will boring and moody life..
Dono why nowadays everything are keep on changing..
I don dare to care about any personal stuff 
or even control or 8 about others..
hmmm
Something recall me back again..
This morning I wit colleague when to eat breakfast..
They order a bow of red bean soup..
RED BEAN soup remind me something back..
Once ,
I was argue wit her at the car about something..
She was upset and feel like crying...
she told me she wan to drink red bean den the she will happy..
That moment I was lying her that don have.
but what I am doing is think where are selling..
All the way we keep quite..
Till I reach Taman Midah , There are selling red bean soup..
She ask me what i am doing ,
at first I don wan to tell , but lastly I told her..
She was totally happy and laugh wit joy..
My feeling was so happy and happy..
but there are no such chances anymore..
At the evening..
Jessie ask me to go Kim Gary..
it recall back something again..
It was the time she date me out to shopping,
that she wanted to buy shoe and shirt..
We have lunch at Kim Gary as well..
I remember she order a set of cheese rice,
fries and coke wit lemon...
She cant finish the food , and told me not to let her order next time..
I was keep smiling when I recall it back..
She like to wasted food ,
but the way she tell me are totally funny and lovely..
It remind me the way she eat ,
the way she react ,
and the thing we discuss..
hmmm ~~~ 
but all this are turning to memoris..
Dono why , every time I went to a place that
we went before it alway remind me something...
no matter where I go , no matter where I am..
there are a lot of memoris came along..
The day I work at Ikano ,
when I go toward Cineleisure ,
Is the place we first hold hand together and snap photo..
anywhere anytime , there are something around me..
Even at office , it remind me call her constantly..
Hurm~~~~
Wanted to put down something is not as easy as I think..
wan someone happy is not as easy as I wan..
There are many things which I don accept ,
but I have to accept it..
I heard 2 something in a time...
没那么简单 and 外面的世界..
The first song alway tell me ,
everything is not as easy as we alway thinks..
just like the first time we together ,
the first time we were separate ,
the second time we together,
the second time we separate,
the third time we together,
and then third time we separate..
all are the path way we have been together..
second song told me about ,
once we have each other..
and
When 1 day she really understand the world outside ,
den she really will understand me more than now..
I not mature as I am ,
but I am as caring as someone parent...
The world are colorful ,
the world have many things,
but when she have seen everything ,
the time she wan to return , 
I will the one which waiting her return , 
and come back toward me..
Is may be a long path for us right now..
or may be there are no such way anymore..
The feeling is here , the available of me are here...
The door are alway waiting for her..
Good nitez..

Putting her down day 1

today ,
consider the first thing I put it down..
Previously is something which it never happen on me..
but it really come true..
I don have choice to choose anymore
and just have to follow the answer to flow..
Is really a tough job for me...
but
many thing is really cannot being force..
Tis morning i wake up at 9 30..
Oh man.. is really a lame day for me..
i last night slept at 3..
but dono why I don feel tired today..
this 2 day don feel hungry don feel like eating..
My weight is dropping..
is emotional and dono why suddenly I will feel very tension..
Something which is wit me and has leave..
I feel that ,
wat important situation , I dono wanted to tell who..
i lost my receiver station..
No one hear me and understand me..
even no one are giving me advice and scold me..
Hmmmm
but what I being told is ,
leave her alone , look for others
don waste my time and not valuable to wait..
is this the hint I get???
but is time to let someone out the world..
chasing someone is easy,
but wan to have a true feeling and love is hard..
but wat really hard is to forget someone
and throw away the feeling which I built it difficultly..
Just try my best to make she happy and myself happy..
let her go and put down the feeling I had..
Something which she already decide ,
what I explain what I do is nothing to her..
I no where to write out all this ,
but just here..
putting down her will be my title..
_______________________________________________
Just now say she written she is very tension..
I don dare to ask and I don have the right to ask..
Just let her know , I am standing opposite to look after her..
I won disturb her , but the worried are all the way to me..
I have no choice to send her a message ,
hope she feel better and can sleep well..
good nitez to her and good nitez to me..
This coming few day before I enter my paradise,
I will be absolutely busy..
Good luck to my work and hope she is fine..

Get it~~~~

Alright ,
many thing really has happen
and something has really make it clear...
There are no more turning point and should be no regret among us..
The discussion is very clear and the answer I really accept it..
Thank you open my thinking
and sorry for the past..hehe
^^
Previously keep on think that ,
As long don give up , there are chance or way to solve it..
but really sometime something really cannot being force one..
so it the good end here and just keep the memoris in my box..
all the photo and memoris I will write it out and wash it..
keep it nicely in my secret box as a good memoris for me...
______________________________________________________
Yesterday not a good day for me becoz it make me feel unhappy..
but thanks to some brother company me go watch Iron man 2...haha
err is normal only ba...
den yam cha at a old town...muahaha.. crap alot there..
Oh~~~
wuwuwu previously no people company me watch IP Man 2 le..
but today , my boss and colleague company me watch..
really nice la them ..
Hmm this few day work hard sin..
coming sat I will be at klang lo..
got roadshow there..
go so far wo... must tired ,but no choice ,
I just wan to earn money n nothing else..
_______________________________________________
Wao coming wed ,
I will be at Langkawi..
muahahaha... previously is dating paradise ,
but no change to happy paradise...
is time to let me be the sunshine boy there...
I will go swim even i dono swim..
wan me die den die la..muahahahaha..
Go there L ying..muahahaha..
I will divert all my things and play till gao gao..
Bring all my money spend over there..
Don ever being so stingy already...
I love YOU my lovely paradise langkawi beach..
Let rock it up babe~~~~
See u soon and hope is a nice,enjoy and funky trip..
GoGoGo..
I cant wait to go for my trip...muahahaha...

hope U understand~~~

I will remember 3/4/2010
This is the day which I being left out...
this is the day which I cant forget
this is the day which make we have to move on my life...
Previous many thing I dono about her..
She don tell ,
SO i totally dono what she want..
I though what I feel that is , is the way she wan
but actually not.
She is good to me ,
give me the priority to give opinion,
follow what I say and What I wan..
never complaint or angry...
but actually she has comment and don likes certain matter...
She still remain silence and just take it..
When I realise all this problem that time
when I wan to know and change tat time..
I think is to late...
Hmmm she lastly choose to leave me..
I wanted to recover ,
but may she really don wan already..
I now only start to know that she is a girl which are like a bird..
wanted to fly out and see the world..
many things she dono and don understand..
From beginning I am wrong becoz
she is living among her fren and family and don even know about outside..
I make a wrong decision to tie up her from beginning..
I should let her do what she wan and let her be..
I am not supportive enough for me..
I feel that I am deeply jealous and own opinion..
Now ,
I don wish to say anything becoz I know ,
if we are fated to be together ,
we will meet up one day..
Now is time to let her go out and meet up the world..
let her know how is the world outside,
and not just staying and dono anything..
from that moment I am awake ,
I should alway support her , no matter what..
All the best to her business , work ,
take care herself when I am not there...
Don get hurt or injuries , don stay up late..
drink more water and rest more..
don over stress and be happy always..
I will be the one standing opposite look after (YOU)~~~
Nothing can do and nothing can say..
just let each of us have a chance to rest and keep on moving..
One thing I wanted to say is...
I previous don really understand her ,
but now I do...
i totally trust her from beginning till end
but just worried only..
May be is really to late to say sorry,
but I have to do so...(sorry)
I did wrong..
I wan to thanks her a lot lot lot~~
becoz previously she really take care me a lot..
give me be the chooser ,
be the one to control and handle..
understand me stay wit me and look after me...
Thank you very much...
wish u all the best and safe all the time..
To my lovely Careo Soh Hooi Voon..
U will always on my heart~~~
Hope one day we can meet up again together..
good Nitez
Listed on (5/5/2010 2.35am)

What is it...

Saw somethin which I don feel to read and saw..
The thing I worried lastly come along...
Wat she write is totally hurt..
Even the problm I worried is go clubbing..
the guy is started to ask..
Is it next time I argue than she will go wit him?
I just now at library talk wit some colleague..
they tell me alot and counsel me alot..
Thanks shito , jerry and ricky..
u guys teach me alot and tell me alot
exspecially shito..
thanks you really really so much
and make me more understand..
I feel that sometime I am wrong ,
so I know i should do is apologise..
when I do so ,
she reply..
I am totally happy ,
but when I at home i read her blog..
She is totally make me feel sad and get hurt..
am I not loving her??
is tat funny enough..
If i am not ,
should i care how and I look back for her..
Omg this making me crazy...
actually the problem
is the way she talk make me feel very unhappy and angry
so avoid from argument i cut her line..
write those thing to me..
what she wan me to do..
I call her and ask but she tell me is her feeling words
what is this , If i wan to do this kind ,
i already tell out everything and tell to everyone la..
I care how she feel and think of her..
but she is writing this kind of blog at there..
haiz..
I really feel that what I did is all wrong??
or U don wan me care at all...
I really dono wat u thinking at all..
still can so cool talking to me..
what u wan from me anymore?
I already nicely talk to u...
u wan how o??
haiz...
I am sick already right now..
still at there waiting...
what can I do now?? hmmmm
just wait~~~~~

Hurm~~ can it be solve?

Recently many things happen again..
OMG~~~~
I am stress toward my work and my relationship..
Hmmm...
Some time does she really understand me..
Alright , last night have a conflict again..
Oh gosh ,
I am tired wit my work , stress and everything 
but cant she just entertain me?
Alright , something has past and settle just let it be..
hope she really get what I tell her on 30/4/2010..
Just now have something again..
I let her have tea wit fren and meet up..
but she till now also don get that I don like 
she go out wit guy...
cant she just understand it...
I tell her how I feel all that,
but she just like feel is fine for her..
Haiz...
I don like the feeling at all that she alway mention guys name..
I am jealous but she still wan to do so..
alway tell me have a girl company while going den at last tell me no..
the girl is not coming along..
I was like.. cant u think of my feeling pls..
How do u feel is I do that to u..
I go out wit a girl ....
What would u think about me..
just now , I was nicely talk to her ,
but she not happy and answer back me..
I was totally down and just forget it...
u enjoy up wit that fren ba..
I feel like not to care or just ignore it..
She dono wat I am feeling at all..
Just forget it la...
She won change or understand me ,
if she still remain on what she wan den she will do..
I am tired to tell out my feeling or how i think anymore..
I feel that I would bored and lazy to say it already..
repeat and repeat...
She wan to do so I have no right...
feeling is on me and not on her...
she won know how does it feel
till I did and she tries it..
I don wish it will happen one day ,
but if she keep on do so ,
I am afraid , 
I will take my responsibility to do what I wan 
without thinking about her feeling..
previously I avoid this and that ,
I care and understand her ,
becoz I wan she to know i respect and care her feeling..
I don hope the day Would come upon to us..