so long long long story...

Wao~~~ 
it been a long time i din update my blog liao lo~~~~
Hmmm recently really may be very busy jor me..
so i just like just can online and see my facebook
and din even touch out my blog..
Seeing i write blog mean that something really bad has happen upon me..
Yea~~ u are right ,
I really have something unhappy has happen a..
But i just don feel like mention it out what is about..
Coz I know , there are a repitation keep on happen 
if everyone of us still remain the same attitude and thinking...
HAIZ~~~~
 long time din mention this word..
may be really busy till forget...
Recently really busy until everything happen also cant rmb..
I start to stop drink less cold thing already..
I even start to drink hot tea~~
I know recently my healthy are getting worse 
N come wit that , I think I am getting some problem in my internal..
Not going for medical check up but look after my eat attitude..
I start to stop eat late and even supper...
I know that i am fat and is time to keep fit..
Previously I have gamble and lose some money..
and from there , I am wake up because gamble are not good..
I already stop gamble and not even care about wat happening...
wat am I right now?
I am changing myself toward all the previously bad attitude...
ya , i start to belive ppl say..
U need something u need to scrafice something...
hmmm , i just read one of my fb fren wall..
she write "If you love something, set it free, 
if it comes back to you, 
it is yours, 
if it doesn't it never was. 
(如果你真的喜欢什么，
给他自由吧。
如果他回到你的身边，
他就是
你的了，如果他没有回来，

他也永远不是你的了)♥ "

Ya i also wish I can do so..

but it remind one of my pass..

I don even care her single matter..

but end up , she left without telling me anything 

and she wit other guys..

Oh that really hurt deeply in my heart..

What i was doing now is a precaution to myself and my partner..

I don wan have repeatation after it...

May be she really don understand ,

but Wat I can do..

I cant blame and say anything..

becoz everything is go through understanding..

I also don wan to write much..

I know when someone really know about it..

is waken up , den everything will be a solution...

I really tired to argue or to say anything.

hope the understanding day will come..

don really hope that what we will regret toward our own choice..

coz of some matter..

She alway say nothing to talk and dono..

is that mean communication between us??

she alway say i don care her feeling or any matter??

but is she understanding about me and herself???

hmmm~~~~ now say wat also no use...

because , the problem is out ..

and We have nothing to talk until someone willing to step out..

who is it?? i dono ..

I just wan her to understand the situation ,

or she is the one to do something ...

even she dare to call me and scold and slam and end up apologies..

i think , there are a solution to keep going..

but everyone said , she is a stone and me is a stone..

I think there won have any thing to continue is remain in silence..

"In a relationship , if keep on Remain silence it just end up wit nothing.."

By kit Tan..

haiz , why this happen..

Just now finish having BBQ at colleague house..

haiz , something unhappy happens again...

I call her and we have a small chat..

suddenly she tell me something and make me very moody..

I not angry because of she cant ,

but I just angry myself why I was so excited and focus on it..

I feel that very miserable..

is just like , i was being bring up the sky ,

and suddenly fall down on the floor...

Haiz~~~

How come it alway happen..

She told me and say I am not giving her personal time..

I was like get shock , 

how come a gf will tell her bf this kind of matter..

Being a couple should be alway together , company each other

love , care and so on right..

but lastly she tell me all this is shouldnot happen..

It make myself more emotional..

I feel that , Haiz~~~~ 

I also no comment on it anymore...

MY heart suddenly feel sour and pain..

What I aspect my gf will give me is all this..

I am lonely and boring staying outside alone..

every night cant sleep well ,

and I wish the next day in the morning the one I wish to see is 

HER~~~

But she told me all those stuff..

Everything I wish her to do and wan her to be,

is really hard and just like forcing her to do..

I now only know , she don wan all this...

My heart feel painful again~~~

Previously she had problem wit her family..

She is lonely ..

I din throw her aside and keep company her..

she fight wit her sister , I an wei her and take care her...

she hungry that time i company her go eat and stay wit her..

go find her a night and talk to her everynight and make her sleep..

But

Once she is recover wit her family~~~

I feel like I am out of it anymore...

My heart start to pain again~~~

She told me she need time to company her family...

she need to do hers things~~~~

but did she think of my feeling???

did she thing of company me??

did she thing of , when she need me ,

I throw off all my things and company her...

Haiz~~~

Tonight , totally moody~~~~

I also dono wat to say to myself to make myself feel better..

My heart feel so sour and I wish to cry...

my room just left me ,

No one hear wat I say , 

no one give me opinion ,

no one ask about me~~

Having nothing because she is not here and need others more than me..

Dono why , I start to lost my happiness , start to lost everything..

I wish she more understand..

because , I had no one to communicate...

If she keep on ..

I feel like silence myself aside ,

and keep quite forever~~~~~

she won ever understand me and known me well~~

I am tired but not sleepy~~

I have to force myself to sleep..

good nitez~~