Putting her down day 1

today ,
consider the first thing I put it down..
Previously is something which it never happen on me..
but it really come true..
I don have choice to choose anymore
and just have to follow the answer to flow..
Is really a tough job for me...
but
many thing is really cannot being force..
Tis morning i wake up at 9 30..
Oh man.. is really a lame day for me..
i last night slept at 3..
but dono why I don feel tired today..
this 2 day don feel hungry don feel like eating..
My weight is dropping..
is emotional and dono why suddenly I will feel very tension..
Something which is wit me and has leave..
I feel that ,
wat important situation , I dono wanted to tell who..
i lost my receiver station..
No one hear me and understand me..
even no one are giving me advice and scold me..
Hmmmm
but what I being told is ,
leave her alone , look for others
don waste my time and not valuable to wait..
is this the hint I get???
but is time to let someone out the world..
chasing someone is easy,
but wan to have a true feeling and love is hard..
but wat really hard is to forget someone
and throw away the feeling which I built it difficultly..
Just try my best to make she happy and myself happy..
let her go and put down the feeling I had..
Something which she already decide ,
what I explain what I do is nothing to her..
I no where to write out all this ,
but just here..
putting down her will be my title..
_______________________________________________
Just now say she written she is very tension..
I don dare to ask and I don have the right to ask..
Just let her know , I am standing opposite to look after her..
I won disturb her , but the worried are all the way to me..
I have no choice to send her a message ,
hope she feel better and can sleep well..
good nitez to her and good nitez to me..
This coming few day before I enter my paradise,
I will be absolutely busy..
Good luck to my work and hope she is fine..

Get it~~~~

Alright ,
many thing really has happen
and something has really make it clear...
There are no more turning point and should be no regret among us..
The discussion is very clear and the answer I really accept it..
Thank you open my thinking
and sorry for the past..hehe
^^
Previously keep on think that ,
As long don give up , there are chance or way to solve it..
but really sometime something really cannot being force one..
so it the good end here and just keep the memoris in my box..
all the photo and memoris I will write it out and wash it..
keep it nicely in my secret box as a good memoris for me...
______________________________________________________
Yesterday not a good day for me becoz it make me feel unhappy..
but thanks to some brother company me go watch Iron man 2...haha
err is normal only ba...
den yam cha at a old town...muahaha.. crap alot there..
Oh~~~
wuwuwu previously no people company me watch IP Man 2 le..
but today , my boss and colleague company me watch..
really nice la them ..
Hmm this few day work hard sin..
coming sat I will be at klang lo..
got roadshow there..
go so far wo... must tired ,but no choice ,
I just wan to earn money n nothing else..
_______________________________________________
Wao coming wed ,
I will be at Langkawi..
muahahaha... previously is dating paradise ,
but no change to happy paradise...
is time to let me be the sunshine boy there...
I will go swim even i dono swim..
wan me die den die la..muahahahaha..
Go there L ying..muahahaha..
I will divert all my things and play till gao gao..
Bring all my money spend over there..
Don ever being so stingy already...
I love YOU my lovely paradise langkawi beach..
Let rock it up babe~~~~
See u soon and hope is a nice,enjoy and funky trip..
GoGoGo..
I cant wait to go for my trip...muahahaha...

hope U understand~~~

I will remember 3/4/2010
This is the day which I being left out...
this is the day which I cant forget
this is the day which make we have to move on my life...
Previous many thing I dono about her..
She don tell ,
SO i totally dono what she want..
I though what I feel that is , is the way she wan
but actually not.
She is good to me ,
give me the priority to give opinion,
follow what I say and What I wan..
never complaint or angry...
but actually she has comment and don likes certain matter...
She still remain silence and just take it..
When I realise all this problem that time
when I wan to know and change tat time..
I think is to late...
Hmmm she lastly choose to leave me..
I wanted to recover ,
but may she really don wan already..
I now only start to know that she is a girl which are like a bird..
wanted to fly out and see the world..
many things she dono and don understand..
From beginning I am wrong becoz
she is living among her fren and family and don even know about outside..
I make a wrong decision to tie up her from beginning..
I should let her do what she wan and let her be..
I am not supportive enough for me..
I feel that I am deeply jealous and own opinion..
Now ,
I don wish to say anything becoz I know ,
if we are fated to be together ,
we will meet up one day..
Now is time to let her go out and meet up the world..
let her know how is the world outside,
and not just staying and dono anything..
from that moment I am awake ,
I should alway support her , no matter what..
All the best to her business , work ,
take care herself when I am not there...
Don get hurt or injuries , don stay up late..
drink more water and rest more..
don over stress and be happy always..
I will be the one standing opposite look after (YOU)~~~
Nothing can do and nothing can say..
just let each of us have a chance to rest and keep on moving..
One thing I wanted to say is...
I previous don really understand her ,
but now I do...
i totally trust her from beginning till end
but just worried only..
May be is really to late to say sorry,
but I have to do so...(sorry)
I did wrong..
I wan to thanks her a lot lot lot~~
becoz previously she really take care me a lot..
give me be the chooser ,
be the one to control and handle..
understand me stay wit me and look after me...
Thank you very much...
wish u all the best and safe all the time..
To my lovely Careo Soh Hooi Voon..
U will always on my heart~~~
Hope one day we can meet up again together..
good Nitez
Listed on (5/5/2010 2.35am)

What is it...

Saw somethin which I don feel to read and saw..
The thing I worried lastly come along...
Wat she write is totally hurt..
Even the problm I worried is go clubbing..
the guy is started to ask..
Is it next time I argue than she will go wit him?
I just now at library talk wit some colleague..
they tell me alot and counsel me alot..
Thanks shito , jerry and ricky..
u guys teach me alot and tell me alot
exspecially shito..
thanks you really really so much
and make me more understand..
I feel that sometime I am wrong ,
so I know i should do is apologise..
when I do so ,
she reply..
I am totally happy ,
but when I at home i read her blog..
She is totally make me feel sad and get hurt..
am I not loving her??
is tat funny enough..
If i am not ,
should i care how and I look back for her..
Omg this making me crazy...
actually the problem
is the way she talk make me feel very unhappy and angry
so avoid from argument i cut her line..
write those thing to me..
what she wan me to do..
I call her and ask but she tell me is her feeling words
what is this , If i wan to do this kind ,
i already tell out everything and tell to everyone la..
I care how she feel and think of her..
but she is writing this kind of blog at there..
haiz..
I really feel that what I did is all wrong??
or U don wan me care at all...
I really dono wat u thinking at all..
still can so cool talking to me..
what u wan from me anymore?
I already nicely talk to u...
u wan how o??
haiz...
I am sick already right now..
still at there waiting...
what can I do now?? hmmmm
just wait~~~~~

Hurm~~ can it be solve?

Recently many things happen again..
OMG~~~~
I am stress toward my work and my relationship..
Hmmm...
Some time does she really understand me..
Alright , last night have a conflict again..
Oh gosh ,
I am tired wit my work , stress and everything 
but cant she just entertain me?
Alright , something has past and settle just let it be..
hope she really get what I tell her on 30/4/2010..
Just now have something again..
I let her have tea wit fren and meet up..
but she till now also don get that I don like 
she go out wit guy...
cant she just understand it...
I tell her how I feel all that,
but she just like feel is fine for her..
Haiz...
I don like the feeling at all that she alway mention guys name..
I am jealous but she still wan to do so..
alway tell me have a girl company while going den at last tell me no..
the girl is not coming along..
I was like.. cant u think of my feeling pls..
How do u feel is I do that to u..
I go out wit a girl ....
What would u think about me..
just now , I was nicely talk to her ,
but she not happy and answer back me..
I was totally down and just forget it...
u enjoy up wit that fren ba..
I feel like not to care or just ignore it..
She dono wat I am feeling at all..
Just forget it la...
She won change or understand me ,
if she still remain on what she wan den she will do..
I am tired to tell out my feeling or how i think anymore..
I feel that I would bored and lazy to say it already..
repeat and repeat...
She wan to do so I have no right...
feeling is on me and not on her...
she won know how does it feel
till I did and she tries it..
I don wish it will happen one day ,
but if she keep on do so ,
I am afraid , 
I will take my responsibility to do what I wan 
without thinking about her feeling..
previously I avoid this and that ,
I care and understand her ,
becoz I wan she to know i respect and care her feeling..
I don hope the day Would come upon to us..

Is has bad feeling toward it...

Hmmm recently many things happen..
Many small argument or fight..
becoz of certain den we can start to fight..
I try to avoid and be what I can ,
but is still problem there...
Last night had a argument..
She lastly post up wat I say toward her..
Hurm~~~
She scold me before on what I write in previous ,
but she end up post as well..
I feel that I am moody and sad ...
I feel sorry toward her 
but
she start to ignore it..
her blog even written that,
cant 2 group out..
either me or them..
I feel that ,
is that what my gf should said??
Haiz..Just feel different and dislike..
today fight again about a phone..
some time she din really think about me..
We be dated for tomorrow dates,
but
she suddenly told me she could
FFK me and go for her blackberry phone..
I was freaking upset and I don feel good..
Is that phone are much more important than our date??
she may be dono tomorrow is 24 of april..
the 4 month we are being together..
Did she ever feel what is my feeling and thinking..
hurm!!!
is she so forgetful , or don't about it??
Haiz , I feel freaking sad now...
why she keep on forget think of my behalf..
what I did is wrong???
What I think for her is wrong??
or I shouldn't do all this to her???
I am alway ready be wit her when she had problem and sad,
but she din even tell me and don wan to share wit me..
Am I so no value to share wit??
Or am I not the person should ask and know??
Hmmm...
I am there alway so that she won being left out ,
but I think what is extra..
she have her family and fren..
may be doesn't need me..
can she just simply and easy toward me....
I am blank and no idea about what is going on...
I don dare to ask becoz , I got scolded just now..
I dono wat is it , and she just cut off my line..
Is already twice she doing that..
yea , she have the right to do so...
I cant say anything even though i am sad n dislike it...
fine!~ I don wish to get more upset...
just calm down myself and sit alone at my room...
remain the silence~~~~

U don understand Or I don get it??

Sometime feel that there are many thing I will miswrap..

She or me dono wat we wan 

or

I am creating problem??

I start to feel that some time we are totally blur

on

wat is happen toward a situation..

OH man...

Am I to stress or am I mad???

I dono why I some time feel she 

doesnt care or take it seriously 

but sometime she tell me , she do so...

So wat actually is going on?

She don understand or I don understand??

haiz..

everytime when dicussing ,

then she left , becoz is a fucking timing..

tat is mid night when wan to sleep....

take it easy bro , 

I know I could be better  becoz I must keep improve..

so work hard and time to sleep..

good nitez...

lazy to argue or discuss..

just let it be~~~~~