haiz , why this happen..

Just now finish having BBQ at colleague house..

haiz , something unhappy happens again...

I call her and we have a small chat..

suddenly she tell me something and make me very moody..

I not angry because of she cant ,

but I just angry myself why I was so excited and focus on it..

I feel that very miserable..

is just like , i was being bring up the sky ,

and suddenly fall down on the floor...

Haiz~~~

How come it alway happen..

She told me and say I am not giving her personal time..

I was like get shock , 

how come a gf will tell her bf this kind of matter..

Being a couple should be alway together , company each other

love , care and so on right..

but lastly she tell me all this is shouldnot happen..

It make myself more emotional..

I feel that , Haiz~~~~ 

I also no comment on it anymore...

MY heart suddenly feel sour and pain..

What I aspect my gf will give me is all this..

I am lonely and boring staying outside alone..

every night cant sleep well ,

and I wish the next day in the morning the one I wish to see is 

HER~~~

But she told me all those stuff..

Everything I wish her to do and wan her to be,

is really hard and just like forcing her to do..

I now only know , she don wan all this...

My heart feel painful again~~~

Previously she had problem wit her family..

She is lonely ..

I din throw her aside and keep company her..

she fight wit her sister , I an wei her and take care her...

she hungry that time i company her go eat and stay wit her..

go find her a night and talk to her everynight and make her sleep..

But

Once she is recover wit her family~~~

I feel like I am out of it anymore...

My heart start to pain again~~~

She told me she need time to company her family...

she need to do hers things~~~~

but did she think of my feeling???

did she thing of company me??

did she thing of , when she need me ,

I throw off all my things and company her...

Haiz~~~

Tonight , totally moody~~~~

I also dono wat to say to myself to make myself feel better..

My heart feel so sour and I wish to cry...

my room just left me ,

No one hear wat I say , 

no one give me opinion ,

no one ask about me~~

Having nothing because she is not here and need others more than me..

Dono why , I start to lost my happiness , start to lost everything..

I wish she more understand..

because , I had no one to communicate...

If she keep on ..

I feel like silence myself aside ,

and keep quite forever~~~~~

she won ever understand me and known me well~~

I am tired but not sleepy~~

I have to force myself to sleep..

good nitez~~